Terry was supposed to go to a bachelor party this weekend in Gatlinburg, TN, but has decided not to. It honestly wasn’t me, I could’ve cared less if he went or not. I mean I did, but was actually keeping my mouth shut for once. So while we were sitting there in the kitchen and I was trying to get everything into my date book so I would know what was going on he told me he wasn’t going, he would rather take a weekend and the two of us get away. Just him and me. I’m still in shock, but I’m so excited. No kids, no phones, nothing, just us. We really need this, we don’t get enough time to actually enjoy each other and that has had a huge bearing on our marriage. We’re going to attempt to have a date night at least once a month from now on, even if it’s only dinner away from the kids.

Therapy is going well, she’s telling us things that I had already seen, but I think Terry needed to hear from a third party. Not that there aren’t things that are coming out that I needed to hear also. Things like the way I snap at him. I truly don’t mean to, but it happens so quick I can’t stop it before it comes out. Classic speaking before thinking. I’m always quick to apologize, but the damage has already been done. I know I have a quick temper, but so many times I’ve sat back and allowed things to be said or happen and then it builds up. That’s the way my friendships were. It was easier to agree to disagree so I allowed myself to be walked on (for lack of better words). I think that’s what was happening with the two of us, I would let litle things build up and then after a while start being shitty. I’m going to try my damndest to change this, although she did point out that I seem to have stepped back and have decided to quit fighting things. This can be good or it can be bad depending on the situation.

So anyways thst was just a little update of things around here. They seem to be going well, lets just hope they keep going that way. Hugs!!

I’m lost!! I have no questions to answer!! Lisa, you have to hurry back before they admit me for withdrawal symptoms!!

Today we had Terry’s 10th birthday party. I can’t believe how fast he’s growing. We had his party at the skating rink, that’s what he had asked for. So I rounded up his cousins and a couple of friends and headed off to skate the afternoon away. They had so much fun, I even put some wheels on and rolled around. During the skating parties the rink has the birthday kid roll this huge fuzzy dice and they get prizes. Terry’s was a pie in the face. This could either be someone shoving the pie in his face or him shoving it in someone else’s face. He chose to shove it in Dustin’s (his cousin) face, but Dustin turned it around on him. It was so funny I almost peed on myself laughing.

I think I’m going to make it a habit of taking the kids skating about once a month, they really like it and I had fun too.

1. What is your favorite charity? Do you you give your time or just money to that charity?

Currently I don’t have a favorite one, but I do donate a lot of time to our Head Start program and my daughters girlscout troop.

2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?

I have a California King Waterbed and I sleep on the right side, but usually wake up on the wrong side.

3. How important is a partners kissing ability?

Fairly important, who wants to kiss a fish?

4. Have you ever purposely tried to seduce someone over a long period of time?

Yes. I won’t go into any more details.

5. Top or bottom?

Both!!

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

I don’t shave, we use Magic Shave Powder to keep things clean. If you try it you should get the can for sensitive skin.

I took Terry in to see his doctor about the hives. According to his doctor some people will break out in hives when they excercise or work. It’s caused by the release of endorphins in the system. It’s nothing serious, just if the hives start to itch I can give him benadryl or claritan and that will take care of it.

We had the boys’ birthday party yesterday and it was wonderful. They played hard and ate a lot of cake. I got some pictures of them together and while they were playing (I’ll upload them later). We’re having a seperate one Sunday at the skating rink for Terry and his freinds.

Tomorrow is Terry and my first appointment with the therapist. I’m kinda nervous about the whole thing, but relieved at the same time. I’m afraid of what he will say when things actually start tumbling out. I’ll get through it, I always do. I’ll keep you all up to date with that. Other than that things are fine, not great, but not bad either.

Well, I guess I’m going to bounce for right now, I need to start dinner and get things picked up around here. Chat at ya later!! Hugs!!

Imagine you are on a first date and the person you are with has food stuck in his/her teeth. Would you tell him/her? What if he/she had food on their chin, nose or shirt?

I figure I would have been joking around with this person prior to being asked out or vice versa, so hopefully I’m comfortable enough with him to tell him if he had food anywhere.

What breakfast cereal best describes your personality?

Banana Nut Crunch… I’m fruity, I’m a nut and at times I can makes things go crunch.

Who would you most like to have a dream about tonight? What would you like to dream?

I’m with Lisa on this one, with the capabilities of internet searches, I cannot divulge such information.

I called my therapists office and made an appointment for Terry and me. He was kinda stunned when I told him, but we really need this or things are just going to fall apart. Once it set in he was okay with it and said he would give it a try. I hope this works, if it doesn’t I can’t say we didn’t try.

I can’t stay long I have to run little Terry off to the pediatrician. His face and arms have been breaking out in hives and we don’t know why. I haven’t changed anything and he isn’t using anything at school new (his teacher is keeping watch also). It seems to be more when he’s doing chores that require him to exert himself or playing rough (football or recess) outside. I’m just hoping it’s not a built up reaction to his adderall. We’ll see what his ped says, he’s always good with him.

SO that’s how the cookie is crumbling right now. I’ll be back!! Hugs!

What is your favorite part of spring? Your least favorite? My favorite part is planting new flowers, the breezes, and the wonderful storms. There really isn’t a whole lot that I don’t like about spring, except for maybe the mud.

It’s Severe Weather Preparedness Week this week. What’s the most severe weather event you’ve experienced? I was born during the tornados that ripped through Louisville in 1974, does that qualify? However, I’ve seen several funnel clouds and I always know before the weather man when it’s going to get nasty.

Daylight Savings Time begins next Sunday, three weeks earlier than in previous years. How do you feel about DST? Love it, hate it, couldn’t care less? I couldn’t care less. I can never remember which is which and when it is. I just know it happens and I lose or gain an hour of sleep.

I think last night we decided that it’s pretty much over. We do love each other, but we’re miserable, the sparks gone. I told Terry I am willing to go to counseling with him to try to work through our problems, but he said he knows what our problem is so he doesn’t need counseling. Go figure. I guess he would rather the ship just sink rather than fix the tear. I spent the better part of the night crying over 16 years, 5 babies and a lost identity.I’ve always said I can do it on my own just as well, but it’s where to begin that scares me. What do I tell the kids? How do I explain to the kids that we still love each other, but we just can’t be together anymore? I finally closed the conversation with he had until Monday to let me know about counseling and if he didn’t want to go he needed to move out because I couldn’t keep going through this and I want to get the hurt over with and move on with healing. Cody has therapy at 1 today, so I guess while I’m there I’ll ask about family counseling in the event that we split, because I know the kids and I will need it.

On another note today Dakota would be 11. Happy Birthday sweet angel baby! I stopped by the cemetary, but where there isn’t ice there’s soupy mud and I had Ian with me and could just see the mess that would ensue so we stayed in the van. I’ll be back, I drive by everyday.

Well, I’m going to flit off and start cleaning, tomorrow I have an in home visit with my Head Start teacher immediatly after work so have to get things in order now. So I’ll chat at you all later.

Hugs.

What do you feel is the biggest waste of time?
Arguing. I’ve spent way to much time doing it and it gets me absolutely no where. I try to get my point across and I feel like it falls on deaf ears and I’m done. I obviously have different views on things then others and I will stand strong on how I feel, maybe that’s a fault I have, maybe it’s not. Either way, I’m not arguing about it any more.

If I knew then what I know now…
That education IS everything. I had an opportunity for a free ride through college and pissed it away. Now I’m working for a little over minimum wage in a position that will go no where. I’m also getting to an age where age discrimination is becoming an issue because there are kids willing to make what I’m making and be happy making it. So if I knew then what I know now, I’d go to school and make something of myself.

How do you feel your life has changed over the past year?
I’ve severed ties. I’ve made new friends. I’ve made the concious decision to keep the new friends at a distance. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, it’s a trust issue. I’ve gone back to work to regain some of my independence. I guess there’s other things I’m not thinking of right now, but they couldn’t be all that bad.